VoW: Saturday One Thirty a.m.

hello group. i did wish we had [meeting] today. we did not go since i have little gas in the [vehicle] and no promise of others coming. once again i feel that email is not sufficient for REAL communication.

i am a little tense myself, outraged at the slow deliverance of those suffering, bored in my home. i have practically howled in frustration that there is nothing regular promised to victims. that kind of immediate response is what i needed, to be able to look forward to something concrete. i feel that is the root of the unrest that affects us all. crime committing in this situation is if someone is at a limit. they need showers clean clothes food and money and know they are safe and welcome somewhere to sleep, not to feel punished. we may need to speak out as citizens if the tension worsens. i'm just trying to imagine being homeless stinky hungry not being able to get my money from the bank something akin to waiting at the dmv for days. the more the refugees are taken care of, the safer the city will be.

everyone here has had to deal with the heat from lack of power, not having debit or charge card access, lack of gasoline, and the blare of the tv. i do feel that baton rouge is going to be permanently changed. we can make it a lovely thing or not. being neighborly to all strangers i have encountered this week, asking after their families, has been rewarding. for some people a friendly smile is all they have to hang on to. at least they can have hope that people do care even when their world has ended. hey, it works for me. i live in midcity baton rouge near downtown and have not personally witnessed or heard any gunshots or such. (hmm, it just occurred to me that our location is probably why some of family is not staying with us even though they don't have power). if we act like this place is safe, our guests will feel safe in return.

i have to remind myself that usually when i'm in complaining or verbally upset, it usually happens when i feel safe enough for it to happen. if we are able to chat here, we are doing okay. being irritable means that we feel comfortable enough to show our real selves, and i feel privileged to know many of you.

however, i have had to remind myself today to quit thinking and dwelling and play with my kids, my treasures. listening to news has not actually helped me much aside from wondering about my entergy bill. action is what is needed, and is what will make us feel better. even if it is cooking an elaborate recipe for our family since the pantry has odd ingredients, or playing harry potter uno over and over. this is the longest i have sat at the computer in weeks, so i better hurry it up.

there is much fear in baton rouge and it will escalate to being warranted if we are not as compassionate as when we felt hearing about disaster in thailand or india. i know it is hard. biologically we also feel the need to protect our territory. i am a little ashamed that i have not been able to invite any strangers to come stay with us when we have a safe (and loud) home. i think a common trait of a [identifying comment] is having control issues right? but anyway i think giving good will and heartfelt kindness as i can will be much healthier for me at least. i haven't always been smiley and nonjudgmental in baton rouge at large, but now is a good time to start a permanent trend of respect.

i have been flooded before, from tropical storm [hurricane]. we had to wait a week for the water to recede just so we could look, hoping that it would be saveable. still hoped it even as we looked for a house. it became an opportunity to move into the house i am in now. i'm sure that i was an unbearable person at the time.

this is an opportunity for baton rouge to grow into a nicer and better city just by how we react. not everyone will want to move back if they get settled here. we will have quite a mardi gras this spring. now is the time to expand the live music and theater scene.

now what i wanna know, is if there are any sister [identifying information]in town.

the [store] on [street] has all the foods. as well as [store]of course though it is breathtakingly expensive. by the way, this is sort of positive gossip, the [Store Name] company is already offering to pay the next thirty days fulltime wages to all of their new orleans employees for the disaster and any work they fill in now at baton rouge is hours added extra. i can hope that other businesses especially corporations will match or beat that.

when the gas trucks get in, i think we need a pow wow, especially as [identifying information]have been snowed in and some of us smothered by extra family. [meeting] day definitely, and possibly a needed night out. possibly at [store] just because i know it is not crowded. i'm thinking tuesday at 6? i'm tired enough to wish we could just all soak in a hot tub somewhere. can we rent a party at the [place]? perhaps we can volunteer an effort together like cook a vat of jambalaya or bring some clothes and toys as a group.
take it easy this weekend everyone!

love,
[name]